Reducing the Generation Gap
Dad’s are a great inspiration to their kids. Children always look up to their dad and try to be like them. There is a slight difference in the thinking of the two generations. Either parties should try to reduce the generation gap.
This blog post is a discussion between me and my dad.
Before starting with the narration I wanna tell you about a special person “My Dad”.
My Dad is a Graduate from RECW (now NIT Warangal) and working in ONGC for about 25 years. So as far as intellectuality is considered he is too good. Very disciplined and plans things well ahead (not like me which is always last minute). Basketball and a hockey player during his college time. My bro and myself got the zeal towards sports from him. My dad used to encourage us in each and every game. During my school days I should admit that we were really afraid of him. We used to switch of the TV and jump on to our study table once we heard the car sound downstairs (I am sure he knew it then). One good thing is he never said no when we asked permission for sports meet (even during my 10th board exams). Only problem he has is the anger.
It was about 1 year ago during Diwali time. Dad, mom, grandma and myself sat down for dinner. Dad nagged mom that the rice was not made properly etc. Mom gave excuses but the thing didn’t stop there. I wasn’t happy with the things going on so I entered into the discussion (first time ever in 20 years).
Avinesh: “Dad thats not the way you criticize a person”. “If you don’t like something tell them politely hopefully they will understand..”
Dad: “What happened to people nowadays, have they lost patience that they cannot accept criticism”
Avinesh: “Its not that way, I am just saying the way you are telling it is pretty rude. It is hurting others feelings”.
Dad: “I have been like this my complete life, I cannot change. This is how I am happy”.
Avinesh: (I suddenly became philosophical) “Dad life is a learning process. Its not that we know everything. We should learn and unlearn incase someone is suggesting us something good”.
Everyone shocked and atmosphere turned silent for a while..
Avinesh: “Sorry, if you feel bad Dad. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Its just that I wanted to tell you long back but couldn’t get the courage. Its also not that I am younger than you and can’t tell you if you are doing wrong (I tried to convince him that I didn’t mean to hurt him)”.
After this Dad became silent and went out of the house for a longtime. After he returned, he didn’t talk to me. Infact he didn’t talk to me for 3-4 days. I waited for the day I was returning back to college. I thought Dad’s anger would come down (but it didn’t;). I was to leave the next day so I had to settle things down.
I knocked his room and asked “Dad are you still angry at me?”.
Mom replied “No why would he be angry at you?”
I said “Dad I am really sorry that I hurt you. I consider you as my friend so I told you all this. What I said is true. Just give it a try and think on what I have said.“
I felt pretty bad because I hurt him. Later after few months my Dad told the whole story to my brother and was happy that I came and apologized to him. This was the first and last time that I gave my Dad some suggestion as a son. Later we became good friends and shared things like friends. I tell him about my drinking experiences (very occasional drinker btw), gals etc..
I know many people around me are afraid of their Dads. There is always a way to convince people (especially elder people). If two people get into a heated argument, someone has to come down and apologize even if he isn’t wrong.
Do share if you had similar experiences.